


Litte Red

by UnicornCooky



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Depression, F/M, IM FUCKED UP, Mental Instability, Suicide, could be triggering to some readers, pete's lost his marbles in this one, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:58:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 5,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7236373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornCooky/pseuds/UnicornCooky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(WILL HAVE TRIGGERING CONTENT) (COMPLETED) March 19, 2005, the day Pete Wentz had met a young girl by the name of Soren Khristanthium. Though they'd only known eachother for a couple months, the two were extremely close despite living on the opposite sides of the country for the first year or two of their friendship. After living in New York with Pete for a long time, Soren moved away again. Pete decided that instead of texting, he'd be a little more 'unique' and write her letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Pete didn't know exactly what was happening. That moment he'd looked down in the crowd and saw the flash of bright red bouncing up and down, he initially thought it was a light someone had brought in, but the second time he saw it, when he got a closer look, he realised that it was a girl. A very pretty girl. He couldn't help but notice her striking eyes, which were an abnormal violet color. She wore a red lipstick that was only a couple shades darker than her hair and a winged eyeliner that looked like it took forever to do. Pete was so caught up in looking at the girl that his fingers slipped, and though Patrick looked at him curiously, it went unnoticed by everyone else as it was lost in the din of the screaming and singing of fans. Pete couldn't keep his eyes off the girl, and after a little bit he realised, he just had to take this one back to the bus. As soon as the show was finished, he was going to approach her, but he remembered the Meet and Greet, and he groaned internally. Patrick walked up to the older man, and looked him in the eye. "Pete, are you okay? You seemed to be kind of distracted during the show and I got kin-" Pete cut off his best friend. "I'm fine, really." Pete pushed past him and to the booth, leaving Patrick sad and awkward. Pete went through as "normally" as he could. He wasn't bothered, just eager, and hoping that the girl was still at the venue. The Meet and Greet was over sooner than he thought it would be, and Pete practically ran from the booth, eyes scanning around for a flash of bright red somewhere. Just as he'd given up and met with the rest of the guys, when he was walking to the bus, he saw someone in the parking garage with a hair color that could even be clearly seen in the dark at two a.m. She seemed to be looking around for her vehicle, and Pete immediately recognized her, so he signalled to the guys that he would be back and ran over to her. The security looked at him oddly, but he assured him he was okay and approached her. When he tapped on her shoulder and she turned around, her eyes went wide and her mouth was agape. "U-Uh, hi!...P-Pete Wentz..." her face went red, which Pete found so adorable. "Hey there, little red. What's your name sweetheart?" Pete crossed his arms in an attempt at ultimate coolness. Her violet eyes darted to the side as her face went redder than before. "It's...I...I'm Soren." he smirked. "Soren. That's a pretty name. Its almost as pretty as your face" Pete almost cringed at his own words, but the regret was lost when she giggled lightly and looked down. "Thanks, I guess..." Pete grinned. "So, Soren. You seem to have lost something. Would you like me to help?" Soren shook her head madly. "OH! No, that's okay! I'm just looking for my truck. People are leaving, so...I'll be able to find it eventually" Pete nodded in understanding. "Well, how about we head back to the bus? We can spend a little time there until everyone's gone and you can find your truck?" a smirk graced his lips when the short girl nodded and allowed herself to be led to the tour bus by one of her idols.


	2. May 22, 2016

Hey, babygirl. How are you? I'm fine. Been a while since we talked in person...this will have to do. Anything new for you..? Not much is different for me. Just the album, we're working on a new one already. I miss you so much. It gets annoying to a lot of people. Hell, it got to the point where we were shopping yesterday and Bronx saw a toy firetruck, my first reaction was "that looks like Soren's hair!". Speaking of Bronx, the boys love you already. Bronx asks me about you a lot, and Saint goes around yelling "SOWEN" at the top of his lungs for literally no reason. Its adorable if I'm honest. I gotta go now, love, Meagan's calling. I'll write more later. 

 

Love,  
Pete


	3. May 29, 2016

Sup, Soren. How are you, my love? I've been okay. It's been awhile since my last letter, huh? Sorry about that, we've been in the studio so much and the guys and I have had so much pressure to finish the album that I haven't been able to write anything. I'm so sorry about that, princess. God, you mean so much to me, Lil Red. I miss you so fucking much. Fuck, I'm crying right now. Sorry. Wait, why did I say that? You can't even see me. Heh, oh well. I'm just dumb like that. How is it in your new home? I assume it's pretty good there. Its either really hot or just perfect temperature, probably the second one. You never did anything to deserve the first. I love you so much, Soren. I hope you're happy right now. 

 

Love,  
Petey <3


	4. May 30, 2016

Hi. I'm gonna try and write more letters, I feel bad when I don't write. Also, writing to you does something to me. It kind of...makes me feel happy. It makes me happy to know that you've been in my life for years. I love you so much. I still think about you every day, despite you leaving. I still cry sometimes when I think about all we've been through...Fuck. Well, the guys are back from the store, I should go before they get annoyed with me. I'm sorry today's letter was short...I'll make tomorrow's longer. I promise. I love you.

Love,  
Pete


	5. May 31, 2016

Hey babygirl. I had a little free time so I wanted to get to writing. I kind of get upset when you don't reply to my letters, but then I remember that you're there and you can't reply. Then I don't mind it as much, as long as you know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry the letters have been pretty negative, I'm just stressed lately. With missing you, the album, managing the newer artists that we've signed, and taking care of the boys...its been quite hectic. Oh, Bronx asked about you again today. He told me he wanted to meet you. Then he asked why I looked like I was about to cry, poor kid. He says he misses you, even though the boy hasn't seen you since he was two and he doesn't even know what you were like in the first place. God, he was so little, no wonder he never remembered you when I talked about you. Fuck, I gotta go soon, more prepping for the album and the tour for that and everything...I still have so much I want to say. I guess that can wait. More letters are on the way, my love.

Love,  
Pete


	6. June 1, 2016

Shit, shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Fuck, please don't hate me. It hurts now. It didn't hurt then. It didn't hurt when I did it. It hurts now. Not physical pain, it hurts because I know you'll be upset with me. I promised you. I promised Patrick. I promised myself...I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. It just...it felt so good in the moment. The way the skin opened up, the gorgeous crimson color...it comforted me. It reminded me of you. It was so pretty, Ren. So pretty...it was just like you...it was so pretty, it felt so good, it felt like it was suppose to happen...then reality hit, and it hurt so bad...I'm so sorry....please forgive me, my love...

I think you know who it's from by now...


	7. June 2, 2016

Kitten, I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't in my right mind. I don't know what I was thinking...I still have some of your makeup left, I can cover it up. Lets just forget that ever happened...it may come as a shock that I still have your makeup. I still have all the things you left. Remember how you use to wear really big shirts? Like five sizes too big? Its kind of embarrassing to admit but I wear them sometimes. People just don't question it because they fit me. Then again, you always wore guy's clothes. I sleep with that stuffed whale you left...it pisses Meagan off, she keeps telling me to get over it, but I can't help it. How do you think she would feel if her best friend left? With the way she's been acting, you'd think that she wouldn't care. I do. I always have. I love you so much, Soren. You need to know that. I know I always say it, but I mean it every single time...you mean the fucking world to me...God, if only I told you when I had the chance. I'd be so much happier with myself. I love you. I love you so much.

Love,  
Pete


	8. June 5, 2016

Hello, been a few days. Sorry about that. I think you know why by now. I'm still sorry though. The guys think it's dumb, that I still try to write to you every day. I guess it is kind of silly...you did leave a while ago. I can't help it though, I miss you so fucking much. Fuck, remember how happy you were? Every time I saw that smile of yours it warmed me up inside. I'm so cheesy, I should shut up. Anyway, I showed the boys some pictures of you that I found today. Bronx said he thought you were really pretty. Meagan just kind of scoffed and went to cook dinner. It pissed me off, she knows how much I love you. There's no need for her to be jealous. She's just a bitch sometimes, that's all. The boys keep on asking to meet you. It gets me all sad and I end up going to the bathroom and just crying. I'm a pussy, I know. I can't help it though. I miss you. 

Love,  
Pete


	9. June 7, 2016

Hi my love! You're 33 today, happy birthday princess! I got you something, I'll have to give it to you when I visit. It'll be a while before I do, I'm still planning the trip, but I promise I won't forget to bring it. Since you can't have it right away, I'm gonna tell you what it is. Its nothing too big, Meagan wouldn't let me get anything else since it was 'just a waste of money' to her, but I still think you'll like it. Its a little mint green teddy bear with a purple bow around it's neck and eyes that match the bow. It reminded me of you, I immediately spotted that it had your eyes and that's what sold it for me. I'll keep it safe for you until I get to see you. It might be months, even years before my trip but it'll all be worth it. There's a lot, and I mean a LOT of planning to do for it. I can't take Bronx or Saint or the guys with me, they have to visit on their own. Its just the rules. I gotta go again. See you later 

 

Love,  
Pete


	10. June 9, 2016

Hi gorgeous. How are you? I hope you're well. I miss you. We've almost got the album finished up, but we might be adding a few songs to it. Sure, we JUST got off tour for AB/AP, but whenever we get this one finished, we'll have a lot more time to spend on our own and with our families. Hell, I think Andy's engaged now. He brought his girlfriend around to hang with us a few days ago and she sure as Hell had a ring on her finger, it definitely didn't look plastic either. I'm proud of him. Our Ginger Princess is growing up. Remember how close you and Andy were? It was adorable. You guys would compare tattoos and scars that you got from being gutsy dumbasses. I still remember where all of them are. Shit, that's creepy as hell. Sorry. I still think its really rad how much you flaunted your scars though. You never tried to cover them up, you just put them in the spotlight and let anyone see. You were proud of yourself for what you've made it through, and I'm proud of you too. Do you still do that now? Probably not, it's probably looked down upon there. That must suck. Honestly I think everything there must suck. Then again, it's only because I'm not there. I miss you way too much. Sorry I'm so clingy. I'll go now.

Love,  
Pete


	11. June 10, 2016

Princess! Hi! How are you? I'm okay. I'm a lot better today actually. I got a couple things today for my visit. Still, it'll take a while. Ooh! I saw a guy in the store today with a tattoo of you on her arm, I got a little confused but then I remembered that you had a life outside of me. You have a lot of people that love you, Red. We ended up talking because I needed help trying to get something off a shelf. Very cliche, but I can't help that I'm short. He helped me grab a rope from the shelf and then he complimented my tattoos and then we compared them for a while. It was fun, I guess. It wasn't as fun as when I use to do it with you. Nothing's been as fun since you moved away...I miss you so much, Lil Red...

Love,  
Pete


	12. June 12, 2016

Hello gorgeous. How's your week been treating you so far? That was a dumb question. Its a Sunday. Probably really good, though. It must be amazing there. I'm gonna try to go to church today. I wanna go to the one that you went to, at least once, I'd really like to meet the people that you were so close to. Well, you DIDN'T go to church but maybe a few times out of the year, but I remember you telling me that a lot of your friends and family went to church and what church they went to. I'm gonna go. I want to see them again, they were pretty cool last time and I just feel like seeing them. Hey, and it's been another day. Another day closer to seeing you. 

 

Love,  
Pete


	13. June 13, 2016

Hello my love! Guess what? One more song left to finish on the album and it'll be completed! We won't release it until later, probably much later, but I'm still really relieved that it's almost completed. There won't be as much stress then. I wrote you a song for it, hell I wrote you songs for almost every album after From Under the Cork Tree, but this time everyone decided that we had enough songs and the rest could be scrapped and maybe used on later albums. God, sometimes I wish they knew. Then again, I might leave all my un-recorded songs so they can keep going. Oh, who am I kidding, Patrick will write. They won't need them. They'll be fine. Agh, I can't wait to see you. I'm all giddy. I'm so excited.

Love,  
Pete


	14. June 14, 2016

Hi. How are you? I saw a little cute thing you'd like on the internet today. It was a little camel-llama hybrid. It was cute. Its called a cama. I remember how you'd always ask me for a llama or an alpaca even though we both knew it was a big nopeity-nope. Trust me, if I could have gotten you an alpaca or a llama, I'd have gotten you an alpaca or a llama. Those fuckers are cute. They


	15. June 15, 2016

I'm so sorry about that last letter. Meagan snatched it up and said it was dumb and she hid it while I was in the middle of writing, but I'm going to put it in the bag anyway. Letters from here on may be a little short, and I apologize for that. I need to get them written before Meagan sees. I love you, princess.

 

Love,  
Pete


	16. June 16, 2016

Hiiii! Its Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! I don't even know if that song existed when you moved away...oh well. NOW I can ask how your week was. Has it been good? I bet. I bet it's really fun there. You get to see friends and family that you haven't seen in so long. You get to see Mitch and Johnny and even David...


	17. June 20, 2016

Do you remember your wedding dress? Sorry I started this letter on such a random note, I was just thinking about it for some reason the other day and I just can't help but keep thinking about it. I dug out the picture of it that we got from the magazine and everything. Y'know, I think the dress is up in the attic. Just in case you didn't remember it I'm gonna send the picture of it with this letter. I remember how much hell we had trying to find one that wasn't 'too goth' or 'too princess' for you. I remember begging you to get something more poofy and glam. Heh, Gabe and I both begged you. But when you went to the shop and actually tried it on...you changed our minds. Bigtime. You looked so gorgeous, Lil Red...

    Love,   
       Pete


	18. June 24, 2016

I've been writing fewer letters lately, I'm sorry. We're finishing up so everything's double time. Jeez, and it's already almost the end of June. The day is getting closer and closer. Maybe just another month or so, hopefully shorter but it'll probably be overdue. No matter what I'm so excited. I can't wait to see you, kitten. I miss you so much. I can't wait to see that pretty face of yours. Hopefully it'll be soon.

 

Love,  
Pete


	19. August 7, 2016

Hi beautiful. It's been months, I'm so fucking sorry. I tried to get to you but Meagan kept taking things away and she kept trying to distract me. She's saying she's pregnant again, but I'm not sold on it. We haven't done anything since Saint was born, so even if she is, it's not mine. Lets get off that subject, the albums done. Well...it has been for a month or so but I couldn't tell you about it...I'm sorry. Fuck, two months. I didn't mean to 'ignore' you for that long...I've been trying to forget about you I guess. I realised that it's kind of stupid to keep pining over you like this when you moved away so long ago..I took up a few old habits trying to forget, too...I'm sorry...I promised you...

\- Pete


	20. August 8, 2016

Hi there gorgeous. I miss you. I honestly wish that Meagan would back the fuck off, there's no point in her. All I want is you. I want you and Bassam, I want you two here with me. I wanna hold my son and kiss my wife and just have the both of you back. To be honest I hate Meagan, she was just something to get over you with. I appreciate her for giving me another son, but I would kill to have you and Bassam back. I bet he's beautiful, isn't he? He probably looks just like you. I hate that you had to leave. Maybe if I was there for you more, maybe if I would have paid more attention to you guys you wouldn't have left, you wouldn't have moved away...I regret so much. I want you back. I want you to come back and be with me. I want you so bad. I need you. I miss you so much...

\- Pete


	21. August 9, 2016

I'm so damn sorry for the last letter. I was drunk, and I may have had a couple more things besides just alcohol...I feel so bad. I'm so happy Meagan hasn't read that letter, she'll kill me if she does. I'm so sorry my love. I really need to get my shit together. I'm so so so sorry. Fucking hell, I feel like dying. Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck. I'm just gonna go, I don't wanna fuck anything up more than I already have. No wonder you don't want to come back 

 

\- Pete


	22. August 12, 2016

Hello, lovely. I wanna apologize again for the other day, I'm such an idiot. I should really get my shit together, after all, you're not coming back. I'm sure you don't even miss me. I'm sure you have a new husband and HE'S Bassam's dad now and that you are happier there than you were with me. I'm sure you don't even miss me. That's good. You don't need to miss me. There's no point. It's just dumb, I'm not worth missing. God, I treated you so wrong, and you kept loving me. Why is that? Why did you still love me after all the shit I put you through?


	23. August 20, 2016

Hi princess. Do you remember Binky? Y'know, your kitty? I'm sure you miss her more than you do me, heh. It sucks I had to give her away. After you left, I...I didn't have time to take care of her...while on tour. I gave her to Patrick's sister, the other Megan. She seems happy there. I still kind of miss her, in a way. I guess I know how it feels now to be lonely while your partner is away...

\- Pete


	24. August 24, 2016

Hello, love. How've you been? I've been okay. I'm getting less and less time to write these letters, Meagen keeps jumping my ass and making me spend time with her. As if I don't spend every other second with her now. She's just needy, that's all. You were pretty needy, too. But I liked your needy. You always checked on me and wanted cuddles and waited for me all excited-like and it was so cute. You use to get jealous over the smallest things, it was adorable. Meagan's needy is...well...less than adorable. If I'm not by her side every second, she yells at me and tells me to "get there this minute". It's also different because I WANTED to spend time with you. I don't even know why I got together with Meagan, maybe because I'm a dumbass who fucks everything up...

\- Pete


	25. August 25, 2016

Hello gorgeous! How's my princess? Oh! I need to tell you, I'm visiting soon! It's around time, I can't wait! You probably don't want me there with you, but I just wanna see your face again. God, your beautiful face! So pretty, your skin is essentially porcelain. I even treated you like it, every time I touched you I was scared I was going to break you...

         - Pete


	26. August 26, 2016

Do you even remember me at all? Do I mean anything to you? Are you there waiting for me? Do you know that I exist anymore? Do you remember my face? Do you even remember my name? Do you even still love me? Did you...did you ever love me..?


	27. August 30, 2016

I'm sorry my princess


	28. August 31, 2016

Ooh, kitty, guess what? I'm gonna see you in a couple days! I have it all planned out, I have the ropes, and all the things I need. Meagan flushed all my Atavan though, I told her about my plans to visit you and she freaked out and said she didn't want me to do what I had done before. Fucking twice they stopped me from it, they can't this time.


	29. September 1, 2016

Have to postpone my visit, dear. My bitch of a current wife is trying to hurt my chances. That's okay, I can stop her. Well, not really, but I can lock her out of my bedroom.


	30. September 2, 2016

IT WAS SO PRETTY SOREN  
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT  
I BET YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD  
THE COLOR WAS SO PRETTY  
PRETTY RED COLOR  
AND IT WAS WARM AND STICKY  
AND IT FELT SO GOOD KITTY  
IT WAS SO PRETTY  
IT LOOKED LIKE YOUR HAIR  
BUT MEAGAN CAUGHT ME  
SHE WANTS TO SEND ME AWAY  
I THINK SHE JUST WANTS TO STOP ME   
SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO SEE YOU PRINCESS  
BUT I PROMISE I WILL  
NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES


	31. September 5, 2016

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU


	32. September 6, 2016

IM SEEING YOU TOMORROW, MY LOVE  
BE READY FOR ME  
BE READY TO SEE ME  
BE READY TO LIVE WITH ME FOREVER  
YOU WON'T GET TO LEAVE ME THIS TIME, BEAUTIFUL


	33. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the really hardcore triggering one, brace yourselves guys.

Pete dragged himself toward the right direction, all of his limbs seeming so much heavier to him than they were. He clutched the bag tightly to his chest as he adjusted his wool scarf with the opposite hand. The beanie on his head had yet to fall off, same going for his earmuffs, which he was thankful for since he couldn't risk dropping the bag with how windy it had been lately. Pete quickly approached the big steel gates, quicker than he'd like to, and stopped for a moment. 'Did you tell Meagan where you were going? Yep. Did are you sure you got every letter? Yep. Good.' He peered in. Grey stones scattered throughout the overgrown, grassy area that was now Soren's home. He slowly pushed open the rusted and heavy gate with one gloved hand, still clutching the the backpack full of letters tightly to his chest. It was a pretty big area; if he hadn't been there when they moved her, he would have had to search for hours just to find her. It wasn't long before he reached the spot. Her place stood out a bit, the stone was shiny and black intead of just grey and there were no colorful flowers, just wilted and brown ones. The grave was placed right under a willow tree. He'd chosen that plot for her because they would visit her uncle's grave here and she always admired the tree. Pete looked with teary eyes at the stone.

"Soren Lee Khristanthium  
Fiance, mother, sister, friend of many  
1983 - 2013"

'Fiance, mother'  
Pete burst into tears at that point. Luckily, he was about to visit her. He missed her so much, they were suppose to get married, she was almost the mother of his second child. He remembered it well. They hadn't started picking a name until they figured out the gender, and of course it was a boy, and they were going to name him Bassam. Bassam Oliver Wentz. The wedding was a couple weeks away when it happened. Pete knew times weren't so good for Soren but he didn't know they were that bad. He felt so stupid. He was so caught up in the comeback album that he didn't take notice. He thought that maybe if he'd taken more time to spend time with his family, the ones that he loved with all his heart, that Soren wouldn't have been so sad, and that maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have taken her life that night while he was on tour. Pete got down on his knees in front of the stone and pulled out something from the backpack. A small teddy bear with purple eyes and tears in its fabric. Then, he pulled a couple other things from the bag and set them aside. After they were out of the way he turned the bag upside down and watched as every letter he'd written over the past three or four years fell out and onto the frosted grass. He kissed the picture on the gravestone and stood back up. Pete grabbed the things he pulled out earlier, a rope and a razorblade, then grabbed the teddy bear. He stuffed them back into the bag before he started scaling the tree. He couldn't fit a latter in that damn bag, or else this would be a lot easier. He took a deep breath, swung the bag over his shoulder, and began to climb. He got on a sturdy enough branch and sat there for a bit. 'I've already given up on myself twice, those never worked...third time is the charm, I guess...' The bleach blonde hurriedly tied the rope, fearing he wouldn't be able to once he was finished with himself, and pulled out the razor. It was kind of hard to do, he had to take off his jacket and all of the winter gear before he could do what needed to be done, but he got to it quick enough. Pete watched as the skin split and the stream of crimson started to run out. He smiled. 'So pretty.' Pete had always been fucked in the head, he knew that, but so had Soren. They were perfect for eachother. They helped eachother out. He did it again right below the first one. He ignored the cool air surrounding him and the numbing of his nose and fingers. He did it again and again, not stopping until his skin was mangled and he wouldn't be recognizable from the neck down. Every tattoo, old scar, and birthmark was slashed. He pulled up his shirt, hesitating before slicing up the skin of his bat heart tattoo. That would've been the only way they could identify him at this point. Then, he finished with the name tattooed on his ribs. 'Soren.' He was beginning to wonder how he was still conscious, but he hadn't even noticed his vision fading in and out. When he realised it, he quickly dropped the razorblade onto the grass below and snatched up the rope and the teddy bear. He tightened it just enough, and began to climb down, and stopped when he was just below it. He let go. Pete struggled for a little bit, then his entire body went slack. Blood from his mangled skin soaked the bear and the ground underneath him. Pete was happy. He finally had all he wanted. 

'Now we can be together forever.'


End file.
